


The Girl In Disguise

by lilydalu



Category: Pirates of the Caribbean (Movies)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-29
Updated: 2020-08-11
Packaged: 2021-03-02 16:53:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 6,348
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24440116
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lilydalu/pseuds/lilydalu
Relationships: James Norrington/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 1
Kudos: 7





	1. Chapter 1

Lieutenant James Norrington passed up and down the corridor waiting for his house mate. "Why does he take so long! It doesn't take that long to put a coat on." James waited by the door for a further few minuets until his patience ran out he signalled for their maid Maria. She wore a red dress with a white apron with a neat bow at the back. Her long blond hair was plated and placed underneath her white bonnet as part of her uniform. "Could you see what is taking him so long please the Governer is waiting." James was agitated, you could tell by the tone in his voice.

"Yes, sir," she said with a slight curtsy and turned away but before she was fully turned "would you like anything else sir?"

"That will be all thank you Maria" James said he voice changed now it was calm and masculine quite different to what what it was minuets previously, "oh and Maria you may take the rest of the week off."

"Sir, why thank you that is three whole days, thank you!" Maria was delighted with the news she skipped off upstairs to Luca the other lieutenant or little did Maria now was actually Johanna who was a very good friend of James and had been since they were born so were their parents but to get in the navy she had to be a male only did she and the Govoner know not even James her best friend. He was only a month older.

She stood in front the mirror with her hair tucked under her powdered wig and a three cornered hat perched on top of her strong stable head she looked in the mirror without her overcoat on and looked at her bust thinking she would never get away with this dinner tonight especially with that big mouth daughter of the Govoner's she couldn't keep her mouth shut. She always had a question to ask why something was something. To be fair she was 14 an age where as a child you tend to ask many questions.  
A knock came at the door Johanna spead for her coat and hesitantly answered the knock with "c-c-come in" Maria pocked her head round the door, a small strand of the luscious blond hair slipping from her bonnet. "the Lieutenant is becoming very impatient. He is worried you will be late for dinner and the coach is waiting."

"Yes, sorry i'm just coming now" Johanna said keeping up her masculine voice or as she called it the Luca voice, which it was. Johanna ,luca, spead down the stairs. "James i'm so sorry my cuff go stuck in one of my buckles on my shoe."

"Is that what happened." James said with disbelief "now we really must be going, thank you maria see you on monday."

"see you monday" Maria replied.

They stepped into the carriage and were off to Governor Swann's mansion.

The warm Caribbean evening in Port Royal would slowly close to a warm night. A small breeze flew through the trees. The short journey was very bumpy. They managed to arrive before the sun set on the horizon and pulled up in front of the Governor's house.

"Shall I knock?" luca said

"No, i'll do it"

With his palm facing him James closed his fist and knocked rather lightly. A very smartly dressed middle aged man came to the door, a butler, his hair was under a grey powdered wig.

"Lieutenant Norrington and Lieutenant Barker to see the Governor."  
"Yes, you are expected. This way sirs."

He gestured them to enter with a long straight arm and a flat hand with light grey gloves to match his uniform. James stepped in with Luca close behind.They Entered a rather large hall where two large floral decorated banisters that were symmetrically a line through the hall. the well dressed butler said "The master will see you for dinner now if you'd like to come this way."

They followed the well dressed butler into the study where the Governor was waiting with his daughter a bit younger than James and Luca. Her name was Elizabeth Swann. She wore a golden silk dress, small beige low heels with a little bow on top and her brown hair was in a neat bun with pearl pins at the side. She looked quite grown up for a fourteen year old actually but that didn't stop the continuous questions. They sat in the study waiting for their final guest the sub Lieutenant Phillip Gillette. He knew his place but seemed to be running late.

"Lieutenants!" the Governor exclaimed with joy, "would you like a drink and I hope you both like scotch eggs, chateaubriand steak and Banbury cakes.

"Yes that sounds rather nice sir." James commented formally

"Thank you for your hospitality" Luca said keeping his stance immaculate.

Gillette entered the room with a slight bow and a nod of the head in James and Luca's direction and apologised for his lateness.

With the small talk out of the way they proceeded into the dining room where they sat down for dinner. Elizabeth 's manners were exceptional for a fourteen year old girl but she was brought up in an aristocratic household. At dinner Elizabeth occasionally joined in with the small talk about pirates, they always seemed to fascinate her, but when she spoke about them her father would stare her down to show it was improper for her as a young girl to speak like that on that particular subject.

James loved to hear her fascination with the sea and the navy. Himself and Luca were merely 5 years older than Elizabeth but their maturity was about the age of a 25 year old not to mention their wisdom. This was why the Governor favourited them two. He also had plans for promotion in a couple of months time but let's not get ahead of ourselves. The Governor would often think to himself. Governor Wetherby Swann often would think of James and Luca as his own. A protective wing cradling them in their first few months of service in Port Royale. Especially where James was the son of well renowned Admiral Lawrence Norrington, it could not be ignored that he certainly had potential to be a great officer.

The dinner was delicious, laid with silver cutlery and pearl white plates that were finely decorated in simplicity. Fine conversation was passed between Governor Swann, James and Philip. Luca remained mostly quiet for the dinner. She was lost in thought regarding wether anyone would notice, if they hadn't already. Whilst military small talk took place, which would usually interest Luca in the highest regard, She couldn't stop thinking of what were to happen she she was caught.

After dinner the Governor sent Elizabeth up to bed before escorting James, Phillip and Luca into his office for a confidential naval meeting.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where things start to be looking up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is a bit short but I've got a few chapters to post so don't worry we'll be getting there soon!

The warm Caribbean evening in Port Royale slowly closed to a warm night. A small breeze flew through the trees. The short journey was very bumpy. They managed to arrive before the sun set on the horizon and pulled up in front of the Governor's house.

"Shall i knock?" luca said

"no, i'll do it"

With his palm facing him James closed his fist and knocked so lightly a dormouse could be heard.A very smartly dressed middle aged man came to the door, a butler, his hair was under a grey powdered wig.

"Lieutenant Norrington and Lieutenant Barker to see the Governor."  
"Yes, you are expected. This way sirs."

He gestured them to enter with a long straight arm and a flat hand with light grey gloves to match his uniform. James stepped in with Luca close behind.They Entered a rather large hall where two large floral decorated banisters that were symmetrically a line through the hall. the well dressed butler said "The master will see you for dinner now if you'd like to come this way." 

They followed the well dressed butler into the study where the Governor was waiting with his daughter a bit younger than James and Luca. Her name was Elizabeth Swann. She wore a golden silk dress, small beige low heels with a little bow on top and her brown hair was in a neat bun with pearl pins at the side. She looked quite grown up for a fourteen year old actually but that didn't stop the continuous questions. They sat in the study waiting for their final guest the sub Lieutenant Phillip Gillette. He knew his place but seemed to be running late.

"Lieutenant!" the Governor exclaimed with joy, "would you like a drink and I hope you both like scotch eggs, chateaubriand steak and Banbury cakes.

"yes that sounds rather nice sir." James commented formally

"Thank you for your hospitality" Luca said keeping his stance immaculate.

Gillette entered the room with a slight bow and a nod of the head in James and Luca's direction and apologised for his lateness. 

With the small talk out of the way they proceeded into the dining room where they sat down for dinner. Elizabeth 's manners were exceptional for a fourteen year old girl but she was brought up in an aristocratic household. At dinner Elizabeth occasionally joined in with the small talk about pirates, they always seemed to fascinate her, but when she spoke about them her father would stare her down to show it was improper for her as a young girl to speak like that on that particular subject. 

James loved to hear her fascination with the sea and the navy. Himself and Luca were merely 5 years older than Elizabeth but their maturity was about the age of a 25 year old not to mention their wisdom. This was why the Governor favourited them two. He also had plans for promotion in a couple of months time but let's not get ahead of ourselves. The Governor would often think to himself. Governor Wetherby Swann often would think of James and Luca as his own. A protective wing cradling them in their first few months of service in Port Royale. Especially where James was the son of well renowned Admiral Lawrence Norrington, it could not be ignored that he certainly had potential to be a great officer. 

The dinner was delicious, laid with silver cutlery and pearl white plates that were finely decorated in simplicity. Fine conversation was passed between Governor Swann, James and Philip. Luca remained mostly quiet for the dinner. She was lost in thought regarding wether anyone would notice, if they hadn't already. Whilst military small talk took place, which would usually interest Luca in the highest regard, She couldn't stop thinking of what were to happen she she was caught.

After dinner the Governor sent Elizabeth up to bed before escorting James, Phillip and Luca into his office for a confidential naval meeting.


	3. Chapter 3

After the long events of the evening a black carriage pulled up in front on the medium sized house. The two Lieutenants stepped out the carriage and walked slowly towards the house. James pulled out a key to open the door knowing Maria would have locked it before she left. 

"I can't believe that we have to leave tomorrow." Luca said with an edge on moaning in his voice.   
"We are not leaving for good it's just to check weather there are no pirates in the area.”  
"At least we are not leaving for good because we have only been here for six months. Also i've still got tonnes of reports to fill out." "I believe we have an office on the Dauntless."

They walked into the hall where they removed their outer clothing before moving into the living room and sat down in the two cream sofas opposite each other. For the first time that week James let himself relax. All the stress of that week falling off of his shoulders and dissipated into the room around him. Luca was less comfortable however, she could barely stop thinking and worrying over what could happen if she were caught. They might send me home. Or they could send for my Father. He’d drag me home even if I were screaming. As her thoughts began to spiral more, the more the silence grew around them.   
That was until it was broken by the sound of James clearing his throat. 

"Do you want me to wake you up tomorrow to make sure you're not in a rush getting all your paperwork together before we leave?" His request made Luca jump out of her own thoughts, “Sorry, did I make you jump?”   
“Slightly, I was thinking of all the paper work I have left" Luca said rubbing the back of her head trying to act natural before being caught off guard by a yawn, “Thank you James, that would be logical. I am not the best at waking up on my own accord as it is; let alone earlier than usual!”  
James chuckled to himself, “Yes, I suppose you’re right there.” He glanced over to the clock over on the adjacent wall, “My God, is that the time, we should really be making our way up to bed!” Luca simply nodded, all too tired to try and elicit any form of response that required much energy from her.   
They made a start for the stairs up to their small separate rooms. It was a relatively generous house towards the outskirts of town, enough for the two of them to have their own rooms, bathroom and shared office. Even the living room was quite small but still comfortable in size. Before entering their rooms James’ hand loitered on the handle.  
“Luca, I know we may not always see eye to eye on many topics but you are most defiantly my friend. You really do work hard and I admire that in you. Good night.” And with that he left Luca standing on the stairs.  
If only you really knew James, if only you really knew.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again this is another short chapter but the next few will start getting a bit more in depth.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where things start taking a turn in a bad direction?

They rose early the next morning ready for the day's events. Luca dressed and in the kitchen cooking breakfast before James for once which was odd. James came down and laid the table ready for the large plate of; eggs, bacon, sausage, beans, mushroom and tomatoes with the toast rack in between the two cups of tea. Luca on the side with the main kitchen behind her with her uniform fully on apart from her over coat which was draped over the back of her chair while James sat opposite her almost mimicking her moves.

"Luca for God's sake sit down!" James demanded. Whilst looking over some last minute reports. "You need to eat.""I'm just thinking about matters." She said looking around."What sort of .... Matters?"   
She paused for a moment, trying to find a good excuse."I'd rather not go than come back to my office with papers everywhere all messy and out of place.” James looked confused. His eyes glaring up from his papers at Luca.  
“I know, even though I’ve talked him through it many times, Philip still wont file everything properly.”"What makes you say that?" She played with her sliver ware before looking at his glowing green eyes."I don't know."  
She began to eat her breakfast still thinking about the day ahead of her and its inevitable end. Drifting off into space, her thoughts deepened to why she was uncomfortable with leaving. Luca knew this voyage will reveal her true self and not her just her personality but what of Johanna. She had a gut feeling. James knew when Luca wasn't herself and this being one of the moments which was so.   
“Luca!" He snapped, his voice, stern and powerful."I'm sorry James." “It’s fine. The more you worry, the less likely you are to be successful on this patrol.”  
They finished breakfast and head down to the docks where the Dauntless was docked. The ship was heaved with privateers running about and moving crates around. Luca and James met up with the other officers boarding the ship."Ah Lieutenant Norrington and Lieutenant Barker to my understanding it is yourselves that are in charge of this voyage." Said one of the sub-lieutenants, "but what I can't understand is why two lieutenant commanders and not the captain?"This made Luca uneasy but James calmly said "The governor holds a great deal of trust with us." That made the sub-lieutenant sink back into his uniform and with that all the officers boarded the ship. Elizabeth ran out amongst the crowd to where she could see the ship depart from the port. With a childish grin she waved at Luca, screaming at the top of her voice words of luck and joy. Luca let out a small smile and waved back before being interrupted by the officers for an important naval meeting."This is where we have had lots of records of pirates." Said one of the officers pointing to a point in a map. Lots of curious sighs of men nodding for a slight second was all that was heard. "This is where we should stop first to clear the area before moving on to Tortuga where we all know is the main sight for pirates.”  
“We cannot directly interfere with Tortuga, it’s out of our jurisdiction. However, it may be beneficial to make a full circle of the surrounding area.” James stepped in.  
“Of course Lieutenant.”

The general scout around the area was not that difficult, the main Tortuga area was relatively quiet. However, three weeks into the trip, Luca was standing on the deck at the helm watching over and keeping an eye on the horizon. The cool breeze on her cheeks that were surprisingly warm. Too warm. Luca’s world started spinning, sweat to trickle down the side of her face and she made a move for her office. As Luca started to move for the stairs her whole world went black. She woke up on the decks of the Dauntless.  
“Lieutenant, are you quite alright.”   
“Yes, I’m fine. I’m just not feeling so well. I think I will retire to my office”

Luca stood up and slowly made her way into her office closing the door behind her. She leaned against the door and slid down. Collapsing to the floor below, she tried to heave a breath in. Each breath was getting progressively harder for her whilst her body just kept getting hotter and hotter each second.  
“Luca!” James banged on the door, “Luca, are you alright.”  
She tried to respond but she couldn’t find the breath.   
“Luca, open the door.”  
She managed to move away from the door, “I can’t…But it’s not locked.” She panted between breaths. He can’t see me like this. He’ll know its me.  
James managed to work the door open only to find Luca curled up on the floor heaving and dripping is sweat.  
“My lord, Luca we need to get this coat off of you.” He reached to start shifting her coat off.  
“No!” She gathered her breath again, “you can’t… please.”  
“Don’t be ridiculous we need to get you in to bed, you’ve got a fever and…” He couldn’t believe what he had found. Luca, he wasn’t a he but a she.  
“Who are you?”.  
“James please,” She reached up for him, “don’t look at me like that.” Her hand clenched to his arm gasping for air, “Don’t look at me as if you don’t know me.”   
James couldn’t comprehend, then it dawned on him, “Joey?”  
“Yes, it’s me.” He scooped her up and put her into bed.  
“Stay here, rest. I’ll be back later on to check on you.”  
He got up and left without another word.

***James POV***

I had to get out of there, away from her my childhood friend, my memories, her Johanna. It can’t be here. How is she here, why is she here. My mind was bombarding itself with more questions I couldn’t comprehend. “Lieutenant commander are you quite alright?” Private Jones asked with confusion.  
“Perfectly fine. Continue carrying out your duties.”  
I had to get some air, I had to get back out to the top deck to fresh air. Everything started to spin in a time where I had to focus on career and my goals. How can I? I can’t leave her there, alone. Why was I so stupid how did I not guess, the small long steaks of dark hair that would sometimes fall stray from her wig. Her green eyes that seemed to carry the whole universe in them. Her soft pale face that seemed to smooth to touch. I couldn’t keep my thoughts from her, my memories of her; the childhood we shared together. Everything I hated to have to leave behind me.  
It didn’t take me long to decide to go back to her cabin. But before I got there I stopped outside; asking myself if this was the right thing to do. My head rested against the door, I didn’t even know what to say. I had been so harsh to her over the last 6 months let alone the last half hour.   
”Johanna I'm sorry I overreacted I didn't mean to be so harsh let me in please.” I couldn’t stand the idea of knocking, it seemed too formal for something that I couldn’t mentally prepare for. I heard the bolt turn and her beautiful face peaked through the small crack. "Come in then James.” She managed to speak though more panted breaths.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So there we go, I know things might seem a little rushed but it is a for a reason I promise.


	5. Chapter 5

"I'm sorry James I should have told you.""Don't worry" he held her delicate face in his hand,"I'm here." Johanna placed a small kiss on his check   
"Thank you" she whispered."Who else knows?" He said trying to change the subject slightly.“Just the Governor., where he was especially close to my Mother and Father he recognised me in an instant and helped me keeping my identity secret.” “And yet you never told me” James whispered to himself. Disappointed that she couldn’t trust him. He felt a pain in his chest knowing that she couldn’t tell him everything, ‘She doesn’t care for me like I care for her.’   
"James, I'm sorry I had to make sure that no one found out." He breaths were still uneven and shallow.  
James gathered his thoughts, he knew he had to get back to work but what to with Johanna? He placed his hand back on her forehead. Still hot.  
"You need to rest. You have a fever still.” He tucked her in making sure she was comfortable before leaving and closing the door behind him.  
"The lieutenant has fallen ill." He announced to the officers, "I suggest we return to Port Royale immediately before his state deteriorates further."   
***

The Dauntless docked in Port Royale. James made a beeline to the Governor who was looking waiting with Elizabeth by the docks.   
"Governor it's Johanna!" He said In-between pants. The Governor stopped still in his tracks. One reason was that James knew and the other was why would James be running?   
"Right, Lieutenant Norrington stay here with Elizabeth." The governor took off going fast as humanly possible. He reached the ship and carried Johanna off the ship and into his coach and got James to go with her and look after her.   
"Thank you for your help Governor. I will see you Tomorrow." James said as the coach went on.  
James put Johanna in bed. She had weakened further. Her face was pale, it was as if all the life sucked from her body and all that was left was her fragile corpse. He sat by the bed praying for her. Wishing she would pull through. The doctor said it was only stress. That is what James hoped for. 'It's only stress don't worry she is going to be fine.' He reassured himself often.  
"Sir, the Governor is at the door." Said Maria from the half closed door. "Will you show him upstairs please Maria.""As you wish sir."The Governor and Elizabeth came upstairs into Johanna's bedroom. "Who is she father? Is that the lady you rescued?""She is the lieutenant and yes that is the girl I rescued. James, how is she?""I'm scared for her. She has been by my side our entire childhood and I've known her since I can remember our Mothers were friends until the accident. Then when her mother died on her fourth birthday I've protected her. And now I've let her down." "No you haven't you have done her proud. Now get some sleep I will stay and watch her for you.""James" a small weak voice called out. "Johanna, thank God you're alright." James sped for her side.She began to sit up. “Where’s my uniform, I need to get those files to the Captain.” She said trying to get jp out of bed.“You’re not going anywhere, you need to rest.” James said perplexed "I've come this far. I must carry on." She said still trying to get out of bed.“Once you’re better that might be and option that you can help but Johanna I cannot allow you to do this." The Governor said in a fatherly manor.“I can do this. Even if have to maintain this facade, I love what I do.”

James stood from the side of the bed making his way over to the Governor, “She wont have to, I can arrange for her way to continue as she was before”  
Johanna’s eyes brightened, “You mean it?”  
James nodded, he wanted her to be happy even if it was at a cost.  
James saw the Governor and his daughter out of their house and returned back to Johanna, “You’re still going to be Luca, but not for long. We’ll slowly tell people. To start it will be myself and Philip.”  
She nodded, proud to be able to continue contributing to everything she has worked so hard towards.

***Johanna's POV***  
They were staring as I walked to the fort. It was the first time I let my hair out loose since I've been here. My wavy long blonde hair was under my three cornered hat, wound into a tight bun. James was by my side, he made me feel safe, always has been. I loved that.We reached the fort and being there in the relaxing Caribbean breeze took my mind off the eyes that stabbed my back because of the burden I held for being a woman."Luca?" I turned to see Gillette standing behind me."It's actually Johanna, Philip don't worry it is still me."He sighed with relief and stared into my bright green eyes like he knew me before Luca. "Luca...I mean Johanna the governor has called a meeting you need to .... Come .... With me." Amongst the trembling he offered his arm to me, I felt pitiful as he was being a respectable gentleman but I had to stand my ground. I knew he was only offering his arm out of respect. So, I simply walked alongside him and explained why he didn't need to act any different towards me.When we walked in all eyes turned to me, daunted I froze in place. By the time I had regained my senses James was on the other-side of the room. He gave the slightest nod of reassurance. Act like myself, it's no different to any other meeting. I walked round the room and took my usual seat next to James ready for the governor to begin.  
The Governor did not address the topic at all throughout the meeting. His only reference to myself aside from any form of military planning was of my, and James', upcoming promotion.  
'Captain Barker' I thought to myself it sounded nice and flowed nicely in my head though I feel many of the other officers present may not have agreed.  
After the meeting James and myself went back to our office and looked over the reports that were stacked on my desk over the last month. I was in for a long night of paperwork and reports. 


	6. Chapter 6

As Johanna walked through the streets of Port Royal she began to notice looks from passers by. They all were mean and conflicted. Some tried to cover the anger with smiles but she could see the hate burning in their eyes like fire. Johanna shook her head. wishing she never came in the first place. "Ah Captain!" greeted the Govoner from a distance, breaking her cloud of thoughts. He noticed something different about her, like she was somewhere else. "if i may, but are you quite alright?" Johanna was going to lie but was unable to think of a believable one, for she was too tired. "forgive me governor but i haven't slept at all since we arrived back to port royal." he shook his head and looked at her the same way he does to Elizabeth, "I feel like since i came back the whole town has grown to hate me." The Governor looked into Johanna's eyes and thought for a while before saying, "Listen to me Johanna, the town doesn't hate you it's just a change, a massive one at that, and they are taking their time to adjust to this change. You are loved remember that. By so many. no matter they gender you are it doesn't change who you are and that's what people have to understand before settling." He placed his hands on her shoulders, in that Father Daughter way, "This will not change anything, you work harder than many of the officers here and that work pays off. look at how much you have achieved in the short time you have been here. Just remember you are not alone." and with that he left, leaving Johanna alone.

Johanna continued to walk through the village towards the fort at a slow meandering pace. as she walked through the streets there were a group of officers walking away from the fort and towards Johanna. As they got closer one started to speak, "Oh gents look its Luca or is it Johanna?" many of the men stated to laugh. "You're not wanted here. So I suggest you go back to London where you belong. This is no place for a woman." The coldness in his voice was bitter. "You should be wearing a dress, it's not right for a women to be in trousers let alone in the military." Johanna's chest tightened, she wanted to respond so badly but knew that responding would cause something much bigger so she stayed quiet, trying to ignore the immaturity of the officers that surrounded her.

"What you going to do now Johanna." The emphasis on her name angered her but she surpassed it like she was taught as a young girl. They moved closer to Johanna and surrounded her, making an escape impossible. She tried to fight through them but it made no difference. Now she was scared. What were they going to do? She'd rather not think. They were jealous, she knew that much. She had become so much but who she was made it a seem like they were weak to others. All because of her gender. What did that have to do with how hard she worked?

"Lisen, do you want to do this the easy way or the hard way?" One of them piped up, cracking his knuckles as he said so. Two of the others had grabbed Johanna's arms. They were strong, she cold hardly move and escape. She was bracing for impact, tensing every muscle she could. Johanna was ready for it. Johanna heard someone being punched but felt nothing. Baffled, she opened an eye only to see a figure pushing away the men. protecting you. Keeping you safe. From them. Johanna fell weak at the Knees as she fell her mind and vision Blackening as she went down.

Johanna woke up in her office on the little couch. Her eye sight, a little blurry but it was a soft green velvet sofa, not too ugly. She secretly liked it. A dark, green, soft velvet, sofa. But how? All she remembers is the fight, well one sided fight. Could she call it a fight? It was more of an ambush in all honesty.  
As her eyes started to clear she noticed a figure standing by her desk. He seemed somehow familiar but she didn't know how. His tall stature and masculine body stood tall above the desk beside him. As she started to stir his movement to the desk was gracious and clean. Swooping to her side in a matter of seconds. Johanna realised who it was, James, she smiled to her self. Lines settled deep into his forehead, worry. Why is he worried about me? Surely he has much more important things and people to worry about? She thought to herself.  
Surely he couldn't have been the one to help her. Her blonde hair fell to her sides as she sat up properly. Her hands moved cautiously into her lap like moving away from a predator for shelter. Her emerald green eyes were glassed over as she stared into the distance reflecting on what she has put her self into. There was an awkward silence while Johanna tried to process the events of the day previously. Day? That's when she realised she was unaware of how long she had been unconscious.   
"James." Looking up at him she paused, thinking of what to say, "How long have I been out for". As she brought her head down in shame she realised the knot her fingers had formed. How could I have been so weak. I couldn't even defend myself against those marines. Officers who are supposed to look up at me. What must they think of me now. That thought made her reconsider, she'd rather not know what they think of her. Those vile and disgusting things reflected in their eyes as the sailors approached her. Fine men when on the deck; yet in a blink of an eye could turn cold and malicious.  
“Joey, please don’t worry, it’s barely been an hour." He Looks into her eyes trying to see what she was thinking, "You must have had quite a fright. I mean, you gave us all a fright." She smiled to herself. "What were you thinking hiding yourself away like this all these years?” Johanna looked down in shame at her hands, but not the same shame she had felt previously. Tears started to gather in the corners of her eyes and she felt like she just wanted to cave in on herself; letting her whole world come crashing down. She didn't feel like fighting anymore.   
"Joey, please talk to me." James calmly said as he knelt down to her eye level. She shook her head tears starting to trickle down her pale cheeks. I don’t know why I do this, I can’t help but shut everyone out. Mummy, I’m so sorry I’m not the strong little girl you remember and Daddy please forgive me for everything I’ve done to dishonour you and our family. I’m scared and I’m alone. 

James moved swiftly to her side, “Joey please talk to me, I’ve known you so long now. Christ we’ve lived together all these years. You are my dearest friend. Please I beg you, tell me. Why did you do this?” James’ heart ached at the thought that she would not confide in him for they were always close as children. Where ever James was Johanna was. They were inseparable as children even as young adults, Joey in her fathers library reading sonnets and poems whilst James softly played piano next to her. 

Joey sniffed as she shifted closer to James warmth, “Honestly, after Mother’s passing I never felt at home.” Joey exhaled a breath she didn’t know she was holding, “I ached every day she was not there” Salty droplets started to trickle down her cheeks again. “It was all so sudden” Joey brought her feet up to her chest and leaned in linking her arms around her shins. Resting her head on he knees she let go and allowed herself to cry. Cautiously, James took his arm and rested it around her shoulders, trying to comfort her. Between deep breathes she tried to speak and every time she tried to do so James would shush her.  
“Shh, I know, just let it out. I know you never really got to mourn her passing” His voice was soft and calming. “I remember like it was yesterday.” He said softly, keeping a soothing manner.

Joey managed to calm her breathing before trying to speak again. “Thank you Jamie.” She looked up at him. Their green eyes meeting for what felt like forever. “You remember when Father remarried.” He nodded. “You know she never liked me, It was like I was vermin to her. I hated it. I felt so alone.” Joey looked back down again, solemn. “She loved my brother.” Her voice become melancholy and quiet. “I miss him dearly, his silly adventures he used to have down at the lake, all the stories he used to tell me of his trips into London with father.” 

“Joey, you’re safe now okay. I’m here, please don’t hide from me anymore.” He took her hands carefully, stroking them with his thumbs, knowing what he was going to say would hurt her deeply, “I want to keep you safe. But,” He took a deep breath ”I can’t have you as an officer. I fear that you’d be too much at risk.” Joey was too tired to be angry with James instead she pushed him away and cried. James tried to take her in his arms and hold her tightly but she just pushed him away further.  
“No,” she cried “you can’t take this away from me.” Joey stood up and ran to the other side of the room before sinking to the floor and weeping in the corner, alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oooh okay. I had a lot of fun writing this chapter hopefully you enjoyed it.

**Author's Note:**

> This was my first fanfiction I wrote when I was 11 so I went back and edited it and decided to publish the slightly better version on here! Hopefully, you all like it!


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